When separation threatens: work out strengths in partnerships
When couples are not really going well, those affected often get tips from acquaintances on how to take a break or temporarily sleep in separate beds. In an interview, an expert has a helpful tip: Couples should work out the strengths of the partnership.
Professional help with relationship problems
If couples have been in trouble for a long time, those affected can often listen to well-meaning advice from friends and acquaintances, such as "Take more time for yourself" or "Have a great vacation together". Others recommend temporarily sleeping separately, but some believe that separate beds are the beginning of the end. Others claim that a more intense sex life can be a solution, but research shows that a lot of sex doesn't necessarily make couples happy. Experts are happy to point out that rituals can help in the partnership. These can signal the partner how important he is to you. Those affected can also seek professional help. You can find these at the Catholic Counseling Center for marriage, family and life issues. There, couples are advised who are about to separate. In an interview with the media portal "DerWesten", Claudia Richter, head of the Catholic Counseling Center in Meschede, has valuable information on the topic.
Communication problems are often the problem
The expert knows which problems are involved in relationships. “Many couples come with communication difficulties. Some talk past each other or hardly talk to each other anymore, "Richter told DerWesten. And further: “Quite often, stress is also decisive, which couples have today and sometimes also burden themselves. In addition, the diverse requirements of working life are not always compatible with a happy partnership. ”
Working out the strengths of the partnership
When asked how the counseling centers are trying to save marriages, Ms. Richter explained: “By looking at the causes and problems. In the next step we try to work out what the strengths of the partnership are and we suggest new ways that the couple can go. "In her opinion, the marriage has not become meaningless:" Studies show that the desire for a lifelong partnership still "However, the desire for a long partnership is not identical to reality," because doing the whole thing in practice has probably become more difficult because marriages have a much longer period today as people get older. "
Couples must want changes
In the interview, the expert explained that expectations of personal happiness are more pronounced today than in the past. But that doesn't fit reality. “Reality means that you can master difficult times in the relationship. The willingness for this is no longer so great today and there is the possibility of going separate ways more easily, ”says Richter. Nevertheless, the advice can help "when couples are ready to change something". According to the consultant, everyone has to change something about themselves and not about their partner. "However, some are too late for advice - some of them have already packed the proverbial suitcases." (Ad)